October 31, 2010



WOW; here it come rushing again; questioning my choices. Not questioning if it’s the right choice; no, never, I’d never regret that. It’s just will i be strong enough? if it’ll really work out? wondering if I’ll be able to survive this way; my way.

Realizing it is a struggle, a battle with myself, everyday. my intentions are pure.yet i can’t help it but question. if they really are? i know they started off like that; but how about now? is it the same? or is the shaytaan taking control again? Will i satisfy my soul, or my Nafz? That world that is unseen; i know is no dream. but this world is so blinding; My eyes are open. i feel them slowly closing. 

No. No. I won’t let them; i want this too much to let it just go; i don’t want to end this life with regret; i don’t want to have REGRETS after I’m dead; after it’s too late. that’s the only real regret of this life. I love the prophet (peace be upon him); knowing all he did for us; all he accomplished through suffering and pain us. 

For us, what kind of Muslim would i can’t even try to follow the perfect path the most amazing lead? saying i love the prophet S.A.W and going against his teaching. would just make me a hypocrite. I can be better. not a hypocrite. At least i can try; and i will. I’ll strive. I’ll strive. O Allah, help me to remember you; thank you; and worship you in the best of manners. O Allah truly i seek refuge with you from the punishment of the grave.